Great news. I’m starting a NEW job!

Hey. What’s up? It’s your girl, Chloe.

Hope you’re all good and are ready for the Easter bank holiday weekend ahead of us.

I definitely am!

Is it time for a long weekend? Check.

Am I ready to eat more chocolate than I probably should? Of course.

Am I preparing myself for a well earned rest? That one would be a no.

Not in a bad way, don’t worry. I’m not neglecting my well-being.

Quite the opposite actually.

I love keeping busy. I’m not one to just sit back and do nothing.

That has never been my style.

If I ever do find myself without anything to do, you can be sure that I will either be annoyed, frustrated or just plain bored.

Basically, I’m just not a fan of the ‘no things to do all day’ life.

From a young age I was encouraged to keep doing. Keep going. Keep working.

I’ll admit, that energy may not have been always focused in the correct places, but now that mindset has changed and my choices are healthier.

It’s positive, just like what I want to talk to you guys about today.

I was very set on sharing a completely different post, but due to recent events and something which happened just today, I feel this seems too perfectly timed and needs to be shouted about, so stay with me.

In my first post back from my blogging break, I shared some of the changes I had faced during this period of living in a national lockdown.

And trust me, a LOT of changes occurred.

If you’ve read that post, you will know what I mean.

But thinking back to that, one notable change was about me moving forward in my professional career.

I mentioned how I had been at a company as a Digital Marketing Executive for 3 and a half years, but have since decided to begin the next chapter of my life with another company.

Exciting but nerve wracking at the same time.

The reason I bring this up again, is because IT actually happened.

What is IT, I hear you ask over there in the corner?

No. IT isn’t that deranged clown with the red balloon from that movie I have yet to see.

IT refers to today, the 1st April 2021, which just so happened to be my last working day at that company.

Now I’ve said it like that, I’m worried some of you may not believe me, but you have to just trust me on this.

I know April 1st has its reputation for terrible jokes and unwanted pranks, but I swear to you with my entire being, that what I am telling you is nothing but the truth.

First, I want to send a quick thank you to my colleagues for what was a great little send off. The gifts were awesome.

A new mug for my many cups of tea, a candle to light my evenings, and more sweet items than you will probably know what to do with.

Seriously, one of my colleagues, Toby, bought in about 12 packs of my favourite biscuits, Golden Crunch Creams.

I could lie and say it will take me forever to get through them, but I can’t do that.

Check back with me next week. I can’t guarantee a single pack will be left.

Nor will the three mini bottles of wine, Jerome bought in for me.

I can already hear my walking app, Sweatcoin, calling out to me.

Sugar levels aside, this is now another change to add to my diary.

Another major event to add to my lockdown woes.

Another moment of real growth.

For that reason, I am truly grateful for the experience.

I feel every day is building me into something bigger and stronger than I was before.

These are life events we will be able to look back on and admire for the courage they will have taken to achieve at that time.

Talking of, when I first joined this company and job role back in 2017, it was my first glance into the REAL working world.

Back then I was still struggling with my confidence.

I wasn’t sure of myself. I doubted things. And my Mental Health was in quite the position.

I remember even just stepping in the office, let alone working for 8 hours, felt like a challenge in my head but I did it.

Sometimes it’s amazing when you realise just how much you have overcome when you have to do so and it’s pleasing for me to recall everything that happened during that journey from A to B.

From the person I no longer recognise, to the person you see today.

I am different. I couldn’t be more happy to say that either.

I hope you feel you can say that also.

I may not know your situation or what you are going through, but boy can I empathise.

Life isn’t always a straight forward ride. It comes with a few dips and turns here and there.

As someone who despises rollercoasters, it frightens me to my very core, sometimes in more ways than you can imagine, but that’s not going to stop me, nor should it stop you.

Stop off at points, catch your breath, and get back to it.

I wouldn’t suggest you do that on a rollercoaster, but you get my point.

Choose your next goal and go for it.

In the words of the wonderfully talented, Shia LaBeouf…

JUST DO IT!!!

Until next time.

Your friend,

Chloe Lauren

P.S THIS IS GENUINELY NOT AN APRIL FOOLS’ JOKE!

How I experienced positive changes during these hectic times | My truth!

Hey guys. Hope you’re all doing amazingly well, even during this period of lockdown.

First of all, I know it’s been a while.

Honestly, and I do genuinely mean this honestly, I had been meaning to show up here again at some point for a while. Problem was, it never seemed to be the right time and the energy just wasn’t there. Now it is and here I am.

SURPRISE!

Out of the blue. Unannounced. That’s how I like to make an entrance.

However, before I get to the main point of this post, I want to start by sharing what I think might just be the most obvious statement, especially these days.

Ready?…

2020 was a truly indescribable year. There I said it. Sue me.

That year will go down in history. We all know that. Life appeared to be here, there and everywhere.

For me in particular, those last few, never ending months of 2020, and even now in this moment actually, have been some of the most confusing and have forced me to take real action and reflect on things happening everyday in my life.

I have gone through, what I can only depict to you, as a mental and ground-breaking shakeup. It feels as though every part of me has gone through a form of personal change.

A season of growth. That’s a reasonably adequate way to put it.

I kid you not, I’m still trying to process in my head the things I have gone through in such a short period of time.

Looking back, it’s possibly more fitting to refer to this time as ‘my whirlwind moments of insanity’. I can’t deny how incredible and positive the growth has ended up being, but still insane none the less.

You’ll understand why in just a moment when I delve into this a little deeper.

But before I spill the personali-tea, I have to introduce you to the 4 layers of this conundrum. Each specific part has played a role in this mind change and was a vital piece to this personal life puzzle.

They key players are;

  1. Home life
  2. Family life
  3. Love life
  4. Professional life

Let’s begin with stage 1…

MY HOME LIFE:

One of the most notable changes over this past year, made for a HUGE leap out of my comfort zone.

And I mean that in the literal sense.

That comfort zone being in the form of my old bedroom. I’m saying old, because it’s no longer my bedroom. In fact, I have no idea who’s it is now, or if it’s even used as a bedroom anymore.

It was my space to relax at the end of a long day, to think about the important stuff and just be.

In a way, it was my safety net when I needed it most.

A place to run to when I felt I had to escape the world and where this whole writing journey began.

Obviously, I have a new room, in a new home, which I have become comfortable with and accustomed to, but the point is, it isn’t what I had been used to for a large portion of my life.

Let’s be honest, change isn’t always easy.

When you know something from childhood, right through your teen years and for the first 2 years of your 20s, how could it ever be that easy?

I don’t know if this makes me sound like a saddo or kind of endearing?

I want to go with the latter.

To add to the drama, this move wasn’t just any old move. Oh no. Not in the slightest.

This move was sudden and sprung upon me.

It was during a pandemic.

A world crisis.

No wonder emotions were heightened.

Everything is chaotic anyway.

Back in April of last year. So just a month into Lockdown 1, I was hit with a bombshell, which not only lead to my move, but ultimately, my families also. Let’s just say, this is where the confusion doubles.

BOOM.

Perfect way to bring us to stage 2…

MY FAMILY LIFE:

I have attempted to write this section several times over.

Each time I have scrapped what I was going to say for the reason of not wanting to offend.

I keep feeling as though I need to tread lightly. Hold back on certain things and rethink my wording.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. I do. There is no doubt about that. But that doesn’t mean the relationships have been plain sailing for me or even for them.

The aim of this post was to be as open and real as I possibly can so holding back even a little would be doing both me and you a disservice. So fam, forgive me.

The reality is, family life hasn’t always been simple for me.

Growing up I was a challenging child and I’m more than certain those who know me will say I’m still a challenge at times.

They are 100% right.

For that reason, I will never put the full blame on my family. I will happily take responsibility where I know it is necessary.

It’s been a rocky time for all of us.

There were great moments and times I’d rather put in the past.

There will never be resentment. I just want to live my life and move forward in my way. I feel I am doing just that and they are also and successfully with real distance to help.

My mom and stepdad always had a dream to move to Scotland. Now they have.

They are about 7 hours away from me by car.

I told you it was real distance.

Just imagine it. You see someone everyday. You live with them for all those years and then one day they are just gone.

Due to the friction between us at the time, I moved out two months before they left. I can’t say it made things better but I can say it helped the transition a little.

In a way I’m proud of myself for doing what initially seemed scary and I’m happy for them for doing what they had always wanted to do. We can call that a win-win for now!

On to something more positive with stage 3…

MY LOVE LIFE:

Covid-19, and each of the three Lockdowns came with their own personal challenges and negatives.

However I can’t complain. That time helped me figure myself out, more than I imagined I could.

We do love a good silver lining over here.

For years I assumed I knew myself pretty well. Yet, I always felt like part of my life didn’t fully make sense to me.

I’d ignore any thoughts relating to it, happily pushing them to the side where I assumed they belonged.

Looking back now, I put that down to fear.

Living a lie can seem easier and the safer option. It also seemed the more reasonable option for those around me.

It wasn’t until I met that special someone that I realised it was wrong to lie and hide behind that lie for so long. The truth had become apparent and as clear as day.

That missing link had clearly been found.

If you couldn’t tell, I’m referring to my sexuality.

After years of people coming up to me and asking if I thought there was a possibility I wasn’t straight, and me trying to prove to them that of course I am, I have to say now, no I’m definitely not straight.

Who could’ve guessed?

Well, many people actually.

So many.

I blinded myself to even the thought of this possibility but I’ll admit it now with absolute vigour.

I fell in love with a girl. Not just any girl at that. She’s my closest friend, the person who inspired me to want to be as open as I’m being now and the person I trust above anyone else. I guess you could call that genuinely lucky.

I know some may not agree with it, and trust me, I know they don’t. I’ve had a bit of opposition already but it doesn’t matter, I couldn’t be any happier.

It’s true when they say, when you know, you know.

I’m definitely gay and she’s definitely the one.

Yep. I said what I said.

The final stage…

MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE:

To clarify, when I say professional, I don’t mean fully professional.

We’re talking, 50% professional, 50% hoping for the best.

Let’s call that being a professional unprofessional. A perfectly balanced ratio

Let’s put it this way, if there was an award for the most professional unprofessional, I would win, although my friend and fellow content extraordinaire, Natalie, would be close competition.

Sorry, Nat!

But for the sake of this section, we will accept professional.

Anyway, for the past three and a half years I have worked in Digital Marketing, all for the same company, starting as an Apprentice, and now in an Executive role.

Although working around all aspects of Digital, my specialisms were always in content.

Writing and creativity had always been my passions.

In fact it was from doing this blog, that I initially landed this role in the first place.

Amazing when you think about it. The impact my personal musings had on what would become my career.

Funny really, especially saying that when I was younger I was set on becoming a writer. I always knew it is what I wanted to do.

People doubted it and at times, so did I.

But here I am, a couple of years later, writing everyday.

Take that!

But what does all this have to do with now?

Well, that’s just it.

It’s been several years.

I joined this company when I was still struggling. So much so, that I chose to work for a business which was in the town I lived in and was used to.

I have grown in every way possible and I’m ready to grow further.

The events of this past year have proved I can do it and sometimes you have to just go for it and I have.

Next month I start a new chapter of my life, in a whole new position, in an entirely new job.

Everything happens in its own time. I’ve always believed that.

I’m ready for what is to come. Bring it on!

There you have it.

Now you understand where I am coming from when I say this last year has brought me more than enough personal change to last me for at least the next few years?

Saying this was my first post back as well, I was certain I wouldn’t have the words to truly express these things fully.

Instead, I have inundated you all with more information than you will know what to do with.

It’s a lot I know.

I just hope it helps and let’s someone reading know that change can be great, even if at first it is overwhelming.

Sometimes good things take a while. Sometimes, like in this case they seem to come all at once.

Either way, good luck and embrace that change!

See you soon.

Your friend,

Chloe Lauren

First 2 months on YouTube | Grow on YouTube in 2020

Over the last 2 months I have dedicated a lot of my spare time to devising, creating, editing and uploading content to my somewhat BRAND NEW YouTube Channel.

I have mentioned it here before, but I will do so again, because honestly I am still buzzing about the entire thing. To me, it truly feels like real progress.

I can’t help myself. I know I am about to blow my own trumpet here, but this is such an achievement for me.

Chloe in the past would never have had the courage or self esteem to setup a channel, let alone post frequently with content I have become proud of.

The best part, with each video, I feel I am really getting better with the overall process.

I even described the editing phase as relaxing.

Exporting the videos on the other hand is on the other end of the spectrum. That fills me with anxiety. Watching the time go down, as the video just edited is being processed fully is panic ready to happen. In my head I just keep imagining it might give up on me or part of the video I have just done and loved, will no longer be there.

It means more often than not, I have to walk away and let what happens, happen.

Frustration. That’s the word I am looking for.

But, despite my fussing, it usually turns out just fine. Why I worry I don’t know.

Actually, yes I do. That’s just what I do. Oops!


Returning to the positives, in the first 2 months, I have filmed and uploaded 9 videos. 7 of those videos have over 100+ views, with 2 of those even surpassing 300+ views.

It’s incredible to see the progress and support in such a short time.

I’ve watched so many videos regarding YouTube growth in 2020 and how to make a channel something viewers actually want to join and watch often.

Although yes I am a full time Digital Marketer, this was a COMPLETELY different kettle of fish. I’m used to specialising in written content and coming up with social content, so YouTube video content was like diving into an unknown section of an ocean I would probably never even visit.

Basically, just an entirely new idea for me to get a grasp of.

Somehow I am doing so, and enjoying every second of the creative journey.

Moving forward, I plan on using the blog and my YouTube channel side by side to create a fully immersive digital experience for all involved. A super group if you will. A bit like if Panic! At the Disco and Green Day joined together. Just hoping.

Sound like a plan? I hope so.

I am so excited, that some of this might not even make any sense at all. In fact I’m sure it doesn’t. Just call it part of my charm, otherwise known as being an adorable nervous wreck.

Anyway, before I ramble on for much longer and bore you all tears, I will just leave it here and hope you enjoyed this mess of a post.

As I say at the end of my YouTube videos, if you like this content, make sure to support your girl. Like, share, comment and if you head over to YouTube, make sure to subscribe.

See you all soon,

Chloe Lauren out!


STALK ME ON SOCIAL:

TMI Tag 2020…ULTIMATE EDITION (Not really) | YouTube Video

A week or so ago I mentioned I’d started making videos during lockdown and adding them to my Instagram and Twitter profiles. They were my fun little escape during the extra down time.

Somehow, people enjoyed them and pestered me (in a nice way) to take it to the next level…YOUTUBE!

Dun dun dunnnn.

As of Sunday I had fully filmed, edited and uploaded my first official video to my YouTube Channel, Life as Chloe Lauren.

Check it out here 👇

Like what you see? If so, please help your girl out. Make sure to follow me here for more, head over to my channel and subscribe and share the video to help me further my reach.

Any and all support is appreciated my friends.

Oh and finally, if you have something you have always wanted to do, I am now in a position to say please just go for it. Fear holds us back more than we should allow it to.

Life really is a virtual insanity now for me. Join me!

Chloe Lauren

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